please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
