We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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