Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
