I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize