From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
