Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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