I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
