people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
