I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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