guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
