So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
