I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
