I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
