I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
