Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
