she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
