I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
