OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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