theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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