i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
