I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
