what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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