The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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