we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
