wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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