We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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