Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize