I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
