I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
