9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
