32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
