She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
