so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So vagazzling was a success
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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