he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
