did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
