Whats the glycemic index on semen?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
