I love black thongs
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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