i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
