With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
