If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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