Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
