Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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