Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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