I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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