I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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