Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize