it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
