i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
