Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
