I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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