Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
soo... how was my night?
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