We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
