Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
