Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
