I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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