Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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