So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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