did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Boobs are out for the taking
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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