your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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