I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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