Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
