I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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