I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You can't motorboat a personality
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
