So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My balls are so social today.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
